depressed and needing to gain control..

feeling depressed and outta control... I"M supposed to control the food, NOT the food controlling me... trying to get over the hungeer painss... planning to eat one small meal tomorrow.. mainly planning to take my meds on an empty stomach so i dont feel like eating...
i've lost 5 lbs, but its not enough... i feel fat.... sooo fat......
got told the other day about my fat rolls...
starting water polo on monday, hoping to lose more weight... many poeple say i look good, but i look, int the mirror and all i see is fat...
gonna be going on a fast mon-tues.
Anyone with me???

daytime

another datime post lol.
Currently im on restriction due to a bad desicion so i can only post when my parents arent home.
So i went to the doctor, and she weighed me, and i weigh 148 lbs. so now im writing down everthing i eat and such.
Nywho, i have to go. so ttyl. i'll write when i can.

daytime

wow. my first post in the daytime lol. haha. so, last night my friend came over and we were both craving a cig badly. she hadnt smoked in 5 weeks, and i hadnt smoked since january, so i decided to find some cigs. we smoked 3 cigarettes. fantastic,. :)) i felt soooo much better after that. so i got ahold of a friend who can get her boyfriend to buy me a pack since im under age. so, right not life is going fantastic. i love it..

i'm losing wieght now that im so close to starting my period. plus, m friend is starting a workout group that runs mon wed and fridays and im starting that tomorrow. then on august 2nd, i start water polo. :))

Life is Good :))

sleepless nights

so, i los about 5 pounds. yay!!!! then God decided to remind me that i'm a woman and he gifted me with my period, hello 5 more pounds gained.. i'm really needing to keep up on my control... i control the food, the food does not control me.
SO, lately my mom has been making comments about me getting back into exercising, so now it is a requirement that i exercise, and ive also started a workout group that i get to be in, and that means 3 days of endless work out with friends and 4 days of "required" work out at home :))
Otherwise, life is great... i'lll write when i can.
g'night