havent posted in a while but i guess you could say i was busy... me and correy lasted an amazing 8 months, and we broke up 4 days ago. i wanna hate him and never speak to him again, but i just cant... i tries to make myself get over him but its just not working, every dream i have is about him... and sometimes, i just wish i could sleep forever so i never have to leave his arms.. i keep hoping that maybe someday in the future, we will see each other again and still feel those butterflies, and then maybe live out our dream together... but then maybe again he's just not the right guy.. i just really dont know. mayb i guess you could say you never forget your first love, but he was mine, and i will never forget him.  even though i fucked up beyond belief, i really want him back... i miss him so much and i'm tired of feeling so worthless... i just really dont want to live without him... but i know that i'm going to have to. i dont blame him for leaving me, everyone always does.. if your readin this Correy, i love you with all my heart, and i always will. i fucked up, but i promise you it will never happen again.. well, see you later people...

Update i guess.

Well, i haven't written in a while lol. I guess every post seems to start out like this because i don't write very often. Things have been going alright. Correy has been staying over alot, and thats been the highlight of the past couple weeks.  I have been trying my hardest to get a job but its been really hard to. I'm still smoking.  I've been trying to quit, and the longest i have ever been able to go was 2 days.  I am still trying, but my mom keeps harping me about it, and it stresses me out really bad, and i cant quit when i'm stressed out, and things are getting really stressful, so its been way harder for me to quit, so i probable am not gonna quit til i'm not stressed out. Maybe this summer. Correy has been so amazing to me its ridiculous. We have our fights, and our days, but who doesnt? no relationship is perfect.  But he is the light of my life. Hes the oxygen i breathe. Hes my everything. We already have our whole life planned out.(:  And next year instead of going to prom we decided that since i'm 18, its not illegal, hah, but we're gonna rent a hotel for 3 days down in LA, and go to Magic Mountain, and then spend time in LA.  I'm gonna be saving LOTS of money so that we can afford to go.  We still havent had sex yet, and i take pride in that fact(: We are waiting til marriage, and that totally final. (: so yeah hah. Lifes pretty well besides all the stress i have. But anyways, i'll post the next time i can, kay?(:

Long time no Post.

So it has been a very long time since i posted i guess you could say. Things have been quite crazy, my "prince in shining armor" i was with turned into a douche wearing the words cheater. I was so depressed at first, but then i saw the light about two weeks later when i met Correy John. My gosh, he may not be wearing that suit of armor, but he's my dork in tinfoil haa. He treats me amazing, and hes the love of my life. He lights up my world like a lightbulb and i just can not imagine living with out him.
Me and Ana parted when Correy and i began dating. I didnt want to but i had told him i would stay away. Which was extremely good for me. I find myself struggling alot sometimes and not so much other times, but i can see the light at the end of this tunnel. Its funny because i have never reall thought of myself as beautiful, but when i'm with Correy, all of it like disappeared. I can be myself, and i dont ever end up worrying if i look fat, or if i eat that, what'll happen? that type of thing. I picked up smoking:/ No Bueno. I hate it that i do it, so I'm somewhat trying to stop. I'm not aiming to stop completely, but to just go down on how many i've been smoking. Anywho, i will probably write bunches more tomorrow about money and such, but this is so far a good post and i want to end it on a good note. Plus Correy is coming over around 10 tomorrow and i need the sleep so badly!!!
Loves and Kisses!