i feel like im dying... i hate this feeling of loss of control... i promised myself i wouldnt get back into these habits but i cant help it... the past couple nights i havent been able to fall asleep w/o weighing and measuring myslef.
Im still a vegetarian, i figured that would help me gain some form of control but its not a very large feeling of control, so i can only think of one way to gain control again...
I know its bad for me, i know its unheathly, but i have no choice, i need to have control. i need to control something in my life,... it doesnt help that school is atrting in a couple days. in a way it does because i wont be home very often so i can get back in control. so far i havent eaten anything today. feeling great because the food does not control me, i control the food.
well, g2g for now, gonna go do 115 crunches and 20 push ups.
see ya!!!
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